TheTKWedding2018

Daniel Okezue The Prolific MC at The New Ikeja's Independence Service

The Prolific MC Hosting a section of The New's Independence Service

Dating; Frank Talk. My $2 Thought!

So a friend sends this link to me

https://twitter.com/celestocalculus/status/744655862187319297

and asked what my thoughts are on the questions and issues raised in there.

This is one of such topics that turns me on.

I was perceived as controversial the last time I wrote on how ladies largely contribute to men cheating. That article I titled "And The Ladies Will Say"
http://danielokezuespeaks.blogspot.com.ng/2014/01/and-ladies-will-say.html?m=1

Let me quickly jump on this one too.

So here are my thoughts on this so called dating thingy.

Guys sef set themselves up for trouble.
We have a funny idea of what a date should be like.

And na Hollywood and the likes dey cause am.

A date is supposed to enable the parties have time to talk, relate and find out stuff about each other.
People put all their focus a lot of time on the event and not the supposed primary purpose for it.
And I think guys should learn to be very creative with date ideas if they lack them.

Read 101 date ideas by michael webb if you have to.
Most of my best time outs with ladies have been the walks, pop ups and the likes that got us relaxed and nobody thinking of any bills or luxury
Find a way to talk and relate.

Don't get yourself so fixed up in the thought of things that are completely unnecessary and then leave out the key things you need to sought out.
And there are rules the world have set for dating that's just absolutely funny.

Everyone now shows up in a suite that's different from who they are in reality just by simply trying to model romance from hollywood.
A babe goes out with you for 5months and you are stuck in the hole of who should pay, that's just too stupid of you.

You have been taking her to chicken licking and you expect her not to lick chicken?
In fact, chicken licking would be the first thing that rushes to her mind when your call comes through.

So let's be frank here

What have you been doing or saying from the first date?
You never showed her that you have a purpose you run your life with,
Because if you did she would have stopped some of those dates for something more relaxing and comfortable as well as friendly to your pocket. Even though you didn't ask her to. Rather you've been busy showing the big boy in you.

Who big boy epp?

Ladies Listen;
Guys will always have a reason for which they ask(ed) a lady out. Whether consciously or not.
It's just so funny how peeps go on dates without a proper plan and a list of questions?

Haaaaaa That's risky

It just shows that you are not the point here, some other things can be the point for him and sex could be one of them.
First date, second...whatever dates.

All these nonsense that Hollywood has thought us about dating is killing a lot of people. (questions to and not to ask her on a first date)

Who cares? If it comes to your head please drop the question on him or her. Worst comes to worse you won't show up for the next date if you think I asked too many questions on the first. Are we playing here? Who's time should we be wasting.

Please ask questions

Focus should never be on who pays.
If you asked me for lunch, oga pay for it. Except she offered to assist. But if she doesn't then pay for it.

And now to the SEX Demand thingy!

1. If a guy takes you out for 5 months and doesn't give any direction as to where he is going and hence wants you to go with him, then run for your life. In fact don't even wait for 5 months to run. Life is too short for that except you are ready to become a prey.
2. If you go out on a date with a guy for 5 months consistently and never asked him where he is going, then you are foolish yourself and so You don't need to wait for him to ask for SEX before you give him
What's the point not giving in to sex?
After all you both have no directions so anywhere belle face is allowed.

If it faced TFC and you went, it faced chicken licking and you licked, then you should have sex too when it faces the bed.
It's phases of life you know.
Life is not that hard.

Money should never become the basis for a date neither should sex be an aftermath. Except you don't have any values you live your life with.
All of these things happen because peeps have no direction for their lives.
Both the guy and the girl.

Hollywood says kiss her at the door on the second date and ask her to your house for sex on the third. Rubbish!!!
And a lady will first wait for the kiss on the second date,
Then the kiss comes and you took it.
He invites you over and you think he would be singing lullaby for you in his house? Madam Banging is your case. In fact your bang should be louder than a disco club's music.

Why would you allow a guy control the total outcome of event(s) while you are with him? Chip in something reasonable. Ladieeeees Please be intelligent and confident. Intelligence and confidence are the new sexy.

Why would a lady even accept to go on a date without preparation? What's your plan? If you don't show him that you deserve to be respected then he doesn't have to.
You shouldn't go on a date without thoroughly planning out what you are going to do, say and how you will approach some critical questions in case he asked.
So I believe that any girl that accepts a date without a list of questions too is just not a serious person. What then are you heading there to do? Is it about the exotic restaurant, food or the person sitting before you? You need to decide that too.

It's ok if it's about the food or place for you(but don't talk trash about Isau the next time you hear a sermon on him selling his birth right)
Dating should be more about the person who brought you out there.

I don't care if it is first or last date,
Ask questions until there is no more to ask.
In fact when you have asked all the questions you know to ask, ask him this "what other questions should I ask you that I've not asked yet?"
It's because you didn't ask him any question but licked chicken, that he has time to think of sex and kiss at the door.

When the word date pops up, the first thing that comes to mind is food. That's very appalling and distasteful...

The quality of questions you ask would say a lot about the kind of person you are.
Nobody's time should be wasted. Time is a very precious substance.
Don't get carried away with all the gesture from a guy too. It could be a trap.

Believe it or not, guys will always have a plan before asking and taking you on a date. It could either be good plans for your future or a plan for the immediate pleasure derived from you.

If he has plans for your future then you are almost safe, but if otherwise then there are two things involved.
1. He wants to hit it off with sex asap
2. He wants to waste your time and use you to prove a point.
Truth is neither of these should you ever get trapped in because you didn't prepare.

And if you noticed that I said you are ALMOST SAFE if he shows that he has plans for a future with you.
Please don't go and let all your guards down because he communicated future plans and possibilities with you the first time. It could be a gimmick too. Be wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove. There should come to a point where his words commensurate with his actions on aa consistent basis.

You should present your future plans too so he knows you got some and then this should guide both of you to know if the future you both see can work together. Two cannot work together except they be in agreement.

Many ladies are on the tour bus they call a relationship. Just basically doing anywhere belle face,
If you have no purpose, one will be assigned to you.
If the answer to "so why did you come" when you turn up for a date is "cos you asked me to/cos I was curious/I didn't want to be rude/etc" then you should do any other thing asked of you for these same reasons. - Greg,  2016.

I'm sorry to say, but the havoc that Pizza and Ice Cream plus movie is causing in people's lives is unqualifiable
Each time the bulk falls on these tour-bus kinda ladies, each time they are expected to steer the relationship they suddenly aren't so smart any more.
They start to be suddenly 'submissive" and pull the "you decide, dear, you are the man/head"

Wash!

Madam, if you don't know why you are in that boat, where its headed and have no skill/desire/right to steer it, you might as well take what you get.
Some babes will read the story of Isau and talk trash about him. Where as, last weekend they sold their souls for the same thing - food.

But back on the topic, proper.

To be fair, what he said was to point out that a lady has no rights to be dined and wined ALWAYS just as equally as a guy has no right to ask for sex ANYTIME.
If he must pay you for your time, should you also pay him for his efforts?
Friends don't hold stuff over each other. They are a team.

And also, trying means a lot to a guy. Let him see you are not just a leech looking for a host to feed off.
Even if you can't afford to drop cash, point him to free/cheap stuff you both may enjoy together. Greg, 2016.

Ladies should learn how to evaluate every date as well. Instead of rushing off to tell your friends how it went, you should first sit and evaluate how quality and impacting it was for you. What did you learn?, what's new?

Something about the other person should open up to you in a different light. And this is not just to be ascertained by what he said on the date night, but how he said them and all the other facets that went into the convo.
You need to know! and so knowledge should drive your dates and not just the fun.
Don't just go and relax there eating chicken and licking ice cream, recreate and feed your mind too.

Get a life. Get a plan.

This is all I have to say for now.

With this few points of mine... Thank You.

Dan Okezue.

And the Ladies Will Say

Like seriously Ladies, is it really true that all men are the same???

I am so tired of hearing ladies say things like
-All men are the same
-All men cheat
-All that men want is sex... Blah blah blah

While I will not dispute any of these facts, I just want to drop a note for the ladies.

I respect women. Yes I do, but I feel a lot of these things are overrated.

An average girl today believes a lot of things about men in general and while a whole lot of those things are true, a lot are also not very true in themselves.

I'm not on this note to burst myths but to shed lights.

They say that all men will cheat.
Well, I believe you. You know why I believe you? That's because if women will do their job of keeping themselves well, no man will cheat. At least a guy will not sleep with a mosquito.
Ehen! I hear a lot of you ranting already.
Well, I have said that one so let's move on to the next thing.
Oh! you ladies don't want us to move yeah? OK let's go further into it.

Ladies, when was the last time a man approached you and you took out time to ask him questions just as he did ask you?
Most of you rush off into looking at his lovely suit, shoe and nice accent.
Now I know that there is also another believe that men are the logical ones and women are emotional.
That is a big story!!! As in STORY of LIFE!

A guy sits back for hours thinking of the pick up line to use on a girl, while a girl sit to think of what??? But yes, you find the pick up line very attractive that you fall for it. Ok, then what?
Those short moments he stands or sits talking to you are meant for a-two-way conversation but you will be amazed that most times that it is the guy doing all the talking while the girl is playing cool and answering as much as she wants to but never asking him any question at all.
Then she comes off amazed that he is either married or in a relationship after later.

Also, I strongly believe that all of these ladies that say these things are the ones causing a lot of the reasons men cheat.
I have seen ladies who are in a relationship and or aware that a guy is too yet go visit the guy in his house or agree to go out on a date with him. So ladies please stop accusing all of us men when your selfish interests does not gell well for you. Biko.

And seriously, the fact that you had a misfortune with one guy or set of guys does not mean that all guys are the same. It could also mean that you just have a bad taste in guys period.

Another stuff you girls say is that all that men want is sex.
YES we want sex,
We want sex so much that we don't mind spending a fortune to get it.
We want sex so much that lots of men have died for it.
But is that exactly supposed to be a problem?
I don't think so.
We are just wired that way and no matter how much we try, there is nothing we can do about it.
In fact, you should run for your life if any man deny having sexual desires. Such a man is evil. Lol.
I think with these knowledge, you ladies will leave us alone and stay all by yourself.

You accuse us of wanting sex, yet you show us all your boobs.
Before now, it was just cleavages but now its the whole breast, all in the name of fashion.
You walk in the street, mall and other public places these days and you see girls in bum shorts and wicked mini's all over the place. Haaa. Have malls become your living room?. Kai.

I was almost slapped by a man just because I complemented his daughter's boobs in a shopping mall. I just said nice boobs and the man fled up in anger. That's after the daughter said 'Thanks' before realizing that it was actually her boobs I complemented and not something else. Why should you say a thing like that? What are you foolish guys looking at? Can't you just walk straight? And my only reply was 'seriously?' after a minute of perplexed silence. I saw the boobs all over the place and I just had to sincerely complement it.
Now my question is, is there anything wrong in complementing something that caught your attention? I'm I exactly meant to be walking with my eyes looking up?

If it were to be your shoes that got the complement will you rage? Why not?
You put your boobs on public display so please get used to it. If it looks nice and catches my attention then trust that I'll say it but if it doesn't look so nice, I'll say otherwise too. The bottom line is that i saw it.
 You girls should not put all the sensitive parts of your body on display and not expect some sincere men like us to notice. And Yes I'm still born again but I don't leave my eyes in the house before stepping out.
Back in the days, even sex workers who wore those kind of dresses to market their product will hide in corners in their marketplace and in odd hours of the dark night because they don't want to be seen by all.

It wasn't enough that your daughter wore a bum short to the mall, she opened her breast for me and every other person to see.
Don't reveal all the sensitive part of your body and expect us not to see them.
We have eyes.
You say its fashion, but our minds don't understand the language of fashion. All we think about when we see those hot laps and boobs is sex. So please don't blame us for asking for too much sex, its just who we are. Just help us as much as you can by not revealing the sensitive parts of your body.

One last thing please before I run away...
Don't expect a guy to take you shopping, buy expensive phones and gadgets and then not expect him to want sex. Kai, thats evil on the part of the girls.
Even if sex doesn't justify the things he buys for you, if you want and accept those things without asking questions and clearing grounds, then don't shout when he comes for sex cause it will be very bad if you don't give him. And don't come and say he rapped you, and that's even if he physically forced you to it.
In fact you should not have let him force you, you should just give in before it becomes force because you have given in since you started collecting his money and gifts.

But seriously guys, that's not a license to sexually harass women too. Its bad and evil. You will do your jail term alone. Our generation needs responsible men. You guys too, must you buy??? Haba.
Go and marry if you need somebody to lavish money and gift items on and let all these small girls stay in school and focus on their studies.

Ladies keep yourself and body intact and well covered up. We appreciate beauty and we know when a lady is attractive. Showing us your boobs will just make us see you as available for sex. If you attract a man with your boobs, he will do all he can to see every other part of your body.

Like my friend IBK-Spaceshipboi said in a song 'sticks and stones may break my bones, what might be in vogue will make you loose your mind. Baby keeping your body well na so'

http://tooxclusive.com/music/ibk-spaceshipboi-sticks-and-stones-f-bez-stan-iyke/


Gaise,  calls this one - Sex Talk -  http://bit.ly/x44GQ2

And also, ladies should please help us men to stay faithful. All men will stay faithful if all ladies were faithful.
I believe that with these few points of mine, i've been able to convince you that all men are not necessarily the same.
Thanks for reading. Bye.

Dan Okezue

Living To Love - Beyond The Norm

This is one note I wish I didn't have to write. 
But I just couldn't help but obey my heart's call.  
The society I grew up in thought me so many things. 
The most striking of it is not to love.

Growing up was fun.
I had several questions answered and a lot more left unanswered..
I had too many rules I had to obey, many of which were not too palatable.
I obeyed many and I broke a lot too.
The pressure was high, 
The demands were much.
Most people wanted the best for me, but some of their best wishes were expressed as worst.
Somewhere along the line, I found something.
Something I can't explain In words.

Loving became my pursuit regardless of what I faced out there.
I was a fighter, but lost the fighting spirit to love along the way.
I really never cared about many things, but the pressure to care kept coming.
Life was horrible at time, but I got over it.
I had some other questions to ask, but no one will tell me what I needed to hear(the truth).
Everyone gave me a piece of their mind(their opinion)
Now I knew there was trouble.
I just have to satisfy my curiosities.

But If I kept going this way, I will probably go astray while searching for the answers to my heart's questions.
Our clergy's do their best, but there best was just never enough.
Could it be that they don't know too many things about life? Or is it that we expect too much from them and our expectations sometimes exceed their capacities? 
Could it be that they knew so much but wouldn't talk to you with some real life experience?
Could it be that all they do is preach the good news without touching on the realities of life?
Our teachers do what they can too but we can't just bank on all they tell us.
We go to school for about 20 years, yet our hearts are not satisfied.
Hmm! Is it that education is really not worth it? 
Oh! I don't exactly think so.

But I get worried with the whole circle,
Its just never enough.
It never ends until we depart from earth.
There is just always the need and desires for more.
The rat race keeps going on

Now I'm curious.

Our young generations are naive, 
They want to do and experience things,
They want to talk about things without being convicted.
They want to be told the truth and not in the way and manner in which it was told in the 17th century.
They want to talk sex, but no adult want to open up that topic.
We want to talk about dating even at 15 years young without being castigated.
We want to know when to kiss and how.
We want to know why or why not to flirt.
We want to party, party so hard like its the end of the world.
We want to learn, learn mundane things, things no one would want to talk about.
We want to live, but wild and free.
We want to love, love beyond the norm.

But you know what?
We want to do all of these things without being seen as BAD.
Knowing that my life is not just for jokes,
We also want to be creative.
Be creative and play so much around with creativity and have no one man or woman look down on us.
But I also know it would be hard not to be criticized, so I have to brace up and move on with my life regardless of what people say.

Realizing that people will talk, I'd be surprised if they don't. 
Like a question I was asked, 'if I was guaranteed success without the possibility of failure, what would I do?'
It is just a part of life.
People will come in contact with you,
Some will stay and remain in your life for a long time while some will leave within a short period.
No matter how it goes, never burn bridges.

Burn the bridges when it comes to leaving your comfort zone to a whole new level.
But never burn bridges involving people.
People will offend you, some will be offended by you but in any and every way keep moving.
Forgive people along the way,
Forget the things they did to you and do so sincerely but just learn your lessons from each situation.
Don't burn bridges cause they could be needed to cross over to  something new in a near future.
Life is too short that you can't be picking beans before cooking them. The length of time it takes to boil beans is long enough, just pour water into it and sieve it away but be ready to eat some stones. 
Life gives us different reasons,
Life gives us options,

There is always the choices between the good and the bad and what we do with these choices are left to us.
In all of these, we learn.
We learn from every choice and move we make, we learn from our experiences and those of other people.
I've seen things in this part of the divide,
Things that were too good to be true.
I've seen a whole lot of other things that came off too hard to behold.

But in all of these, we must keep loving.
Keeping the LOVE alive is now my pursuit regardless of what the world thinks.

I wont give all up because I was hurt by someone. 
Even if it is someone you trusted with all you life.
Give room for amends. 

Everyone really deserves another chance. 
One thing I've discovered in life is that there is absolutely no reason to show love. 

JUST DO IT.

Think Differently - A Poetic Note

Harder times of plenty struggles
Struggles of rhetorical questions
Answers I am yet to find
But the years had found me

Oh I've let myself down
I have let my family down

the society, the society have let me down
The government have failed me.

Please let me introduce myself...
I am a graduate, a graduate for past 7 years with B.sc honors, No job.

I have begged, I have prayed, I have even bribed.
The sole of my shoe is worn out.
Oh shame has swallowed me

I am hopeless
My happiness has been taken
Oh the tag of unemployment is now my shadow.

And I hear a still small voice say to me:

A shadow you refuse to cast out
All you do is complain.
You complain about everything.
Hmm, a wise man once said 'your skill contributions to life's situation is a validation of your education.

You say there are no jobs?
The question is 'what can you offer?'

What is the validation of your certificate?
Know this, Life is not about paper but product and your work is a product of your skill.
Oh even the Bible says that God Blesses the works of our hands not of our certificate.
You've blamed everyone else but yourself.
Do you have a dream?
Have you ever thought that the dream Job you seek was established by someone like you?

My question is, what do you think those people were thinking about when they started out on the business you call you dream job?

You wonder in fear,
But fear will not take you there.
May I even ask you, what exactly is it you fear?
When you look straight into it, you will realize that there is nothing there to be afraid of.
Take a step today,
Make that move,
Life is not all about how much you get but how much you give.

What do you have?
Is it a skill or knowledge?
Then go and give it.
Give it to someone who needs it and the day a larger community needs that same service, you will not be forgotten.

Don't allow fear to hold you down.
Just do it in spite of your fear.
A wise man once said that courage is not the absence of fear, but the decision to move on in spite of your fears.

I came across a piece a while ago and I'll like to share it. It inspires me a lot and I hope it does the same to you too:

'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.'