Monday, September 30, 2019
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
Dating; Frank Talk. My $2 Thought!
So a friend sends this link to me
https://twitter.com/celestocalculus/status/744655862187319297
and asked what my thoughts are on the questions and issues raised in there.
This is one of such topics that turns me on.
I was perceived as controversial the last time I wrote on how ladies largely contribute to men cheating. That article I titled "And The Ladies Will Say"
http://danielokezuespeaks.blogspot.com.ng/2014/01/and-ladies-will-say.html?m=1
Let me quickly jump on this one too.
So here are my thoughts on this so called dating thingy.
Guys sef set themselves up for trouble.
We have a funny idea of what a date should be like.
And na Hollywood and the likes dey cause am.
A date is supposed to enable the parties have time to talk, relate and find out stuff about each other.
People put all their focus a lot of time on the event and not the supposed primary purpose for it.
And I think guys should learn to be very creative with date ideas if they lack them.
Read 101 date ideas by michael webb if you have to.
Most of my best time outs with ladies have been the walks, pop ups and the likes that got us relaxed and nobody thinking of any bills or luxury
Find a way to talk and relate.
Don't get yourself so fixed up in the thought of things that are completely unnecessary and then leave out the key things you need to sought out.
And there are rules the world have set for dating that's just absolutely funny.
Everyone now shows up in a suite that's different from who they are in reality just by simply trying to model romance from hollywood.
A babe goes out with you for 5months and you are stuck in the hole of who should pay, that's just too stupid of you.
You have been taking her to chicken licking and you expect her not to lick chicken?
In fact, chicken licking would be the first thing that rushes to her mind when your call comes through.
So let's be frank here
What have you been doing or saying from the first date?
You never showed her that you have a purpose you run your life with,
Because if you did she would have stopped some of those dates for something more relaxing and comfortable as well as friendly to your pocket. Even though you didn't ask her to. Rather you've been busy showing the big boy in you.
Who big boy epp?
Ladies Listen;
Guys will always have a reason for which they ask(ed) a lady out. Whether consciously or not.
It's just so funny how peeps go on dates without a proper plan and a list of questions?
Haaaaaa That's risky
It just shows that you are not the point here, some other things can be the point for him and sex could be one of them.
First date, second...whatever dates.
All these nonsense that Hollywood has thought us about dating is killing a lot of people. (questions to and not to ask her on a first date)
Who cares? If it comes to your head please drop the question on him or her. Worst comes to worse you won't show up for the next date if you think I asked too many questions on the first. Are we playing here? Who's time should we be wasting.
Please ask questions
Focus should never be on who pays.
If you asked me for lunch, oga pay for it. Except she offered to assist. But if she doesn't then pay for it.
And now to the SEX Demand thingy!
1. If a guy takes you out for 5 months and doesn't give any direction as to where he is going and hence wants you to go with him, then run for your life. In fact don't even wait for 5 months to run. Life is too short for that except you are ready to become a prey.
2. If you go out on a date with a guy for 5 months consistently and never asked him where he is going, then you are foolish yourself and so You don't need to wait for him to ask for SEX before you give him
What's the point not giving in to sex?
After all you both have no directions so anywhere belle face is allowed.
If it faced TFC and you went, it faced chicken licking and you licked, then you should have sex too when it faces the bed.
It's phases of life you know.
Life is not that hard.
Money should never become the basis for a date neither should sex be an aftermath. Except you don't have any values you live your life with.
All of these things happen because peeps have no direction for their lives.
Both the guy and the girl.
Hollywood says kiss her at the door on the second date and ask her to your house for sex on the third. Rubbish!!!
And a lady will first wait for the kiss on the second date,
Then the kiss comes and you took it.
He invites you over and you think he would be singing lullaby for you in his house? Madam Banging is your case. In fact your bang should be louder than a disco club's music.
Why would you allow a guy control the total outcome of event(s) while you are with him? Chip in something reasonable. Ladieeeees Please be intelligent and confident. Intelligence and confidence are the new sexy.
Why would a lady even accept to go on a date without preparation? What's your plan? If you don't show him that you deserve to be respected then he doesn't have to.
You shouldn't go on a date without thoroughly planning out what you are going to do, say and how you will approach some critical questions in case he asked.
So I believe that any girl that accepts a date without a list of questions too is just not a serious person. What then are you heading there to do? Is it about the exotic restaurant, food or the person sitting before you? You need to decide that too.
It's ok if it's about the food or place for you(but don't talk trash about Isau the next time you hear a sermon on him selling his birth right)
Dating should be more about the person who brought you out there.
I don't care if it is first or last date,
Ask questions until there is no more to ask.
In fact when you have asked all the questions you know to ask, ask him this "what other questions should I ask you that I've not asked yet?"
It's because you didn't ask him any question but licked chicken, that he has time to think of sex and kiss at the door.
When the word date pops up, the first thing that comes to mind is food. That's very appalling and distasteful...
The quality of questions you ask would say a lot about the kind of person you are.
Nobody's time should be wasted. Time is a very precious substance.
Don't get carried away with all the gesture from a guy too. It could be a trap.
Believe it or not, guys will always have a plan before asking and taking you on a date. It could either be good plans for your future or a plan for the immediate pleasure derived from you.
If he has plans for your future then you are almost safe, but if otherwise then there are two things involved.
1. He wants to hit it off with sex asap
2. He wants to waste your time and use you to prove a point.
Truth is neither of these should you ever get trapped in because you didn't prepare.
And if you noticed that I said you are ALMOST SAFE if he shows that he has plans for a future with you.
Please don't go and let all your guards down because he communicated future plans and possibilities with you the first time. It could be a gimmick too. Be wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove. There should come to a point where his words commensurate with his actions on aa consistent basis.
You should present your future plans too so he knows you got some and then this should guide both of you to know if the future you both see can work together. Two cannot work together except they be in agreement.
Many ladies are on the tour bus they call a relationship. Just basically doing anywhere belle face,
If you have no purpose, one will be assigned to you.
If the answer to "so why did you come" when you turn up for a date is "cos you asked me to/cos I was curious/I didn't want to be rude/etc" then you should do any other thing asked of you for these same reasons. - Greg, 2016.
I'm sorry to say, but the havoc that Pizza and Ice Cream plus movie is causing in people's lives is unqualifiable
Each time the bulk falls on these tour-bus kinda ladies, each time they are expected to steer the relationship they suddenly aren't so smart any more.
They start to be suddenly 'submissive" and pull the "you decide, dear, you are the man/head"
Wash!
Madam, if you don't know why you are in that boat, where its headed and have no skill/desire/right to steer it, you might as well take what you get.
Some babes will read the story of Isau and talk trash about him. Where as, last weekend they sold their souls for the same thing - food.
But back on the topic, proper.
To be fair, what he said was to point out that a lady has no rights to be dined and wined ALWAYS just as equally as a guy has no right to ask for sex ANYTIME.
If he must pay you for your time, should you also pay him for his efforts?
Friends don't hold stuff over each other. They are a team.
And also, trying means a lot to a guy. Let him see you are not just a leech looking for a host to feed off.
Even if you can't afford to drop cash, point him to free/cheap stuff you both may enjoy together. Greg, 2016.
Ladies should learn how to evaluate every date as well. Instead of rushing off to tell your friends how it went, you should first sit and evaluate how quality and impacting it was for you. What did you learn?, what's new?
Something about the other person should open up to you in a different light. And this is not just to be ascertained by what he said on the date night, but how he said them and all the other facets that went into the convo.
You need to know! and so knowledge should drive your dates and not just the fun.
Don't just go and relax there eating chicken and licking ice cream, recreate and feed your mind too.
Get a life. Get a plan.
This is all I have to say for now.
With this few points of mine... Thank You.
Dan Okezue.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
And the Ladies Will Say
I am so tired of hearing ladies say things like
-All men are the same
-All men cheat
-All that men want is sex... Blah blah blah
While I will not dispute any of these facts, I just want to drop a note for the ladies.
I respect women. Yes I do, but I feel a lot of these things are overrated.
An average girl today believes a lot of things about men in general and while a whole lot of those things are true, a lot are also not very true in themselves.
I'm not on this note to burst myths but to shed lights.
They say that all men will cheat.
Well, I believe you. You know why I believe you? That's because if women will do their job of keeping themselves well, no man will cheat. At least a guy will not sleep with a mosquito.
Ehen! I hear a lot of you ranting already.
Well, I have said that one so let's move on to the next thing.
Oh! you ladies don't want us to move yeah? OK let's go further into it.
Ladies, when was the last time a man approached you and you took out time to ask him questions just as he did ask you?
Most of you rush off into looking at his lovely suit, shoe and nice accent.
Now I know that there is also another believe that men are the logical ones and women are emotional.
That is a big story!!! As in STORY of LIFE!
A guy sits back for hours thinking of the pick up line to use on a girl, while a girl sit to think of what??? But yes, you find the pick up line very attractive that you fall for it. Ok, then what?
Those short moments he stands or sits talking to you are meant for a-two-way conversation but you will be amazed that most times that it is the guy doing all the talking while the girl is playing cool and answering as much as she wants to but never asking him any question at all.
Then she comes off amazed that he is either married or in a relationship after later.
Also, I strongly believe that all of these ladies that say these things are the ones causing a lot of the reasons men cheat.
I have seen ladies who are in a relationship and or aware that a guy is too yet go visit the guy in his house or agree to go out on a date with him. So ladies please stop accusing all of us men when your selfish interests does not gell well for you. Biko.
And seriously, the fact that you had a misfortune with one guy or set of guys does not mean that all guys are the same. It could also mean that you just have a bad taste in guys period.
Another stuff you girls say is that all that men want is sex.
YES we want sex,
We want sex so much that we don't mind spending a fortune to get it.
We want sex so much that lots of men have died for it.
But is that exactly supposed to be a problem?
I don't think so.
We are just wired that way and no matter how much we try, there is nothing we can do about it.
In fact, you should run for your life if any man deny having sexual desires. Such a man is evil. Lol.
I think with these knowledge, you ladies will leave us alone and stay all by yourself.
You accuse us of wanting sex, yet you show us all your boobs.
Before now, it was just cleavages but now its the whole breast, all in the name of fashion.
You walk in the street, mall and other public places these days and you see girls in bum shorts and wicked mini's all over the place. Haaa. Have malls become your living room?. Kai.
I was almost slapped by a man just because I complemented his daughter's boobs in a shopping mall. I just said nice boobs and the man fled up in anger. That's after the daughter said 'Thanks' before realizing that it was actually her boobs I complemented and not something else. Why should you say a thing like that? What are you foolish guys looking at? Can't you just walk straight? And my only reply was 'seriously?' after a minute of perplexed silence. I saw the boobs all over the place and I just had to sincerely complement it.
Now my question is, is there anything wrong in complementing something that caught your attention? I'm I exactly meant to be walking with my eyes looking up?
If it were to be your shoes that got the complement will you rage? Why not?
You put your boobs on public display so please get used to it. If it looks nice and catches my attention then trust that I'll say it but if it doesn't look so nice, I'll say otherwise too. The bottom line is that i saw it.
You girls should not put all the sensitive parts of your body on display and not expect some sincere men like us to notice. And Yes I'm still born again but I don't leave my eyes in the house before stepping out.
Back in the days, even sex workers who wore those kind of dresses to market their product will hide in corners in their marketplace and in odd hours of the dark night because they don't want to be seen by all.
It wasn't enough that your daughter wore a bum short to the mall, she opened her breast for me and every other person to see.
Don't reveal all the sensitive part of your body and expect us not to see them.
We have eyes.
You say its fashion, but our minds don't understand the language of fashion. All we think about when we see those hot laps and boobs is sex. So please don't blame us for asking for too much sex, its just who we are. Just help us as much as you can by not revealing the sensitive parts of your body.
One last thing please before I run away...
Don't expect a guy to take you shopping, buy expensive phones and gadgets and then not expect him to want sex. Kai, thats evil on the part of the girls.
Even if sex doesn't justify the things he buys for you, if you want and accept those things without asking questions and clearing grounds, then don't shout when he comes for sex cause it will be very bad if you don't give him. And don't come and say he rapped you, and that's even if he physically forced you to it.
In fact you should not have let him force you, you should just give in before it becomes force because you have given in since you started collecting his money and gifts.
But seriously guys, that's not a license to sexually harass women too. Its bad and evil. You will do your jail term alone. Our generation needs responsible men. You guys too, must you buy??? Haba.
Go and marry if you need somebody to lavish money and gift items on and let all these small girls stay in school and focus on their studies.
Ladies keep yourself and body intact and well covered up. We appreciate beauty and we know when a lady is attractive. Showing us your boobs will just make us see you as available for sex. If you attract a man with your boobs, he will do all he can to see every other part of your body.
Like my friend IBK-Spaceshipboi said in a song 'sticks and stones may break my bones, what might be in vogue will make you loose your mind. Baby keeping your body well na so'
Gaise, calls this one - Sex Talk - http://bit.ly/x44GQ2
And also, ladies should please help us men to stay faithful. All men will stay faithful if all ladies were faithful.
I believe that with these few points of mine, i've been able to convince you that all men are not necessarily the same.
Thanks for reading. Bye.
Dan Okezue
Monday, January 13, 2014
Living To Love - Beyond The Norm
This is one note I wish I didn't have to write.
But I just couldn't help but obey my heart's call.
The society I grew up in thought me so many things.
The most striking of it is not to love.
Growing up was fun.
I had several questions answered and a lot more left unanswered..
I had too many rules I had to obey, many of which were not too palatable.
I obeyed many and I broke a lot too.
The pressure was high,
The demands were much.
Most people wanted the best for me, but some of their best wishes were expressed as worst.
Somewhere along the line, I found something.
Something I can't explain In words.
Loving became my pursuit regardless of what I faced out there.
I was a fighter, but lost the fighting spirit to love along the way.
I really never cared about many things, but the pressure to care kept coming.
Life was horrible at time, but I got over it.
I had some other questions to ask, but no one will tell me what I needed to hear(the truth).
Everyone gave me a piece of their mind(their opinion)
Now I knew there was trouble.
I just have to satisfy my curiosities.
But If I kept going this way, I will probably go astray while searching for the answers to my heart's questions.
Our clergy's do their best, but there best was just never enough.
Could it be that they don't know too many things about life? Or is it that we expect too much from them and our expectations sometimes exceed their capacities?
Could it be that they knew so much but wouldn't talk to you with some real life experience?
Could it be that all they do is preach the good news without touching on the realities of life?
Our teachers do what they can too but we can't just bank on all they tell us.
We go to school for about 20 years, yet our hearts are not satisfied.
Hmm! Is it that education is really not worth it?
Oh! I don't exactly think so.
But I get worried with the whole circle,
Its just never enough.
It never ends until we depart from earth.
There is just always the need and desires for more.
The rat race keeps going on
Now I'm curious.
Our young generations are naive,
They want to do and experience things,
They want to talk about things without being convicted.
They want to be told the truth and not in the way and manner in which it was told in the 17th century.
They want to talk sex, but no adult want to open up that topic.
We want to talk about dating even at 15 years young without being castigated.
We want to know when to kiss and how.
We want to know why or why not to flirt.
We want to party, party so hard like its the end of the world.
We want to learn, learn mundane things, things no one would want to talk about.
We want to live, but wild and free.
We want to love, love beyond the norm.
But you know what?
We want to do all of these things without being seen as BAD.
Knowing that my life is not just for jokes,
We also want to be creative.
Be creative and play so much around with creativity and have no one man or woman look down on us.
But I also know it would be hard not to be criticized, so I have to brace up and move on with my life regardless of what people say.
Realizing that people will talk, I'd be surprised if they don't.
Like a question I was asked, 'if I was guaranteed success without the possibility of failure, what would I do?'
It is just a part of life.
People will come in contact with you,
Some will stay and remain in your life for a long time while some will leave within a short period.
No matter how it goes, never burn bridges.
Burn the bridges when it comes to leaving your comfort zone to a whole new level.
But never burn bridges involving people.
People will offend you, some will be offended by you but in any and every way keep moving.
Forgive people along the way,
Forget the things they did to you and do so sincerely but just learn your lessons from each situation.
Don't burn bridges cause they could be needed to cross over to something new in a near future.
Life is too short that you can't be picking beans before cooking them. The length of time it takes to boil beans is long enough, just pour water into it and sieve it away but be ready to eat some stones.
Life gives us different reasons,
Life gives us options,
There is always the choices between the good and the bad and what we do with these choices are left to us.
In all of these, we learn.
We learn from every choice and move we make, we learn from our experiences and those of other people.
I've seen things in this part of the divide,
Things that were too good to be true.
I've seen a whole lot of other things that came off too hard to behold.
But in all of these, we must keep loving.
Keeping the LOVE alive is now my pursuit regardless of what the world thinks.
I wont give all up because I was hurt by someone.
Even if it is someone you trusted with all you life.
Give room for amends.
Everyone really deserves another chance.
One thing I've discovered in life is that there is absolutely no reason to show love.
JUST DO IT.
Think Differently - A Poetic Note
Harder times of plenty struggles
Struggles of rhetorical questions
Answers I am yet to find
But the years had found me
Oh I've let myself down
I have let my family down
the society, the society have let me down
The government have failed me.
Please let me introduce myself...
I am a graduate, a graduate for past 7 years with B.sc honors, No job.
I have begged, I have prayed, I have even bribed.
The sole of my shoe is worn out.
Oh shame has swallowed me
I am hopeless
My happiness has been taken
Oh the tag of unemployment is now my shadow.
And I hear a still small voice say to me:
A shadow you refuse to cast out
All you do is complain.
You complain about everything.
Hmm, a wise man once said 'your skill contributions to life's situation is a validation of your education.
You say there are no jobs?
The question is 'what can you offer?'
What is the validation of your certificate?
Know this, Life is not about paper but product and your work is a product of your skill.
Oh even the Bible says that God Blesses the works of our hands not of our certificate.
You've blamed everyone else but yourself.
Do you have a dream?
Have you ever thought that the dream Job you seek was established by someone like you?
My question is, what do you think those people were thinking about when they started out on the business you call you dream job?
You wonder in fear,
But fear will not take you there.
May I even ask you, what exactly is it you fear?
When you look straight into it, you will realize that there is nothing there to be afraid of.
Take a step today,
Make that move,
Life is not all about how much you get but how much you give.
What do you have?
Is it a skill or knowledge?
Then go and give it.
Give it to someone who needs it and the day a larger community needs that same service, you will not be forgotten.
Don't allow fear to hold you down.
Just do it in spite of your fear.
A wise man once said that courage is not the absence of fear, but the decision to move on in spite of your fears.
I came across a piece a while ago and I'll like to share it. It inspires me a lot and I hope it does the same to you too:
'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.'
Struggles of rhetorical questions
Answers I am yet to find
But the years had found me
Oh I've let myself down
I have let my family down
the society, the society have let me down
The government have failed me.
Please let me introduce myself...
I am a graduate, a graduate for past 7 years with B.sc honors, No job.
I have begged, I have prayed, I have even bribed.
The sole of my shoe is worn out.
Oh shame has swallowed me
I am hopeless
My happiness has been taken
Oh the tag of unemployment is now my shadow.
And I hear a still small voice say to me:
A shadow you refuse to cast out
All you do is complain.
You complain about everything.
Hmm, a wise man once said 'your skill contributions to life's situation is a validation of your education.
You say there are no jobs?
The question is 'what can you offer?'
What is the validation of your certificate?
Know this, Life is not about paper but product and your work is a product of your skill.
Oh even the Bible says that God Blesses the works of our hands not of our certificate.
You've blamed everyone else but yourself.
Do you have a dream?
Have you ever thought that the dream Job you seek was established by someone like you?
My question is, what do you think those people were thinking about when they started out on the business you call you dream job?
You wonder in fear,
But fear will not take you there.
May I even ask you, what exactly is it you fear?
When you look straight into it, you will realize that there is nothing there to be afraid of.
Take a step today,
Make that move,
Life is not all about how much you get but how much you give.
What do you have?
Is it a skill or knowledge?
Then go and give it.
Give it to someone who needs it and the day a larger community needs that same service, you will not be forgotten.
Don't allow fear to hold you down.
Just do it in spite of your fear.
A wise man once said that courage is not the absence of fear, but the decision to move on in spite of your fears.
I came across a piece a while ago and I'll like to share it. It inspires me a lot and I hope it does the same to you too:
'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.'
Love's Heart - This so Well
Sometimes I'll be right, sometimes I'll be wrong.
But the most important thing is that you know without
a doubt that I do what I do because I love and cherish you.
We shall not have acceptance and forgiveness without a
single interruption, as long we both shall live.
But yes, we will certainly make it.
It will be a beautiful adventure as we experience our own
limited resources and God's limitless power. He will teach
us how to challenge the difficulties of life and how to cherish
the joy it will be worth,
for we shall learn to do it with Him.
You are the other and best part of me.
I have loved you deeply for so long and it will take the rest
of my life to discover how much I do.
Thanks for showing me so authentically that love is a
10 letter word spelled 'COMMITMENT'
I'll love being married to You.
As faith can move mountain,
so love removes a wall.
This we have discovered and it is always true.
There is nothing we can't love each other for through commitment.
Sometimes the things in life are not serious,
yet they affect us, never the less,
we must keep going.
You have a little argument with your spouse,
neither of you feel like talking,
yet you must keep going.
There are times that make us want to cut off,
stick our heads in a hole
and make the world go away,
but we can't because we must keep going.
In times like this, and we all have them,
always remember that the blessing
is not that we must keep going.
The blessing is that WE CAN.
But the most important thing is that you know without
a doubt that I do what I do because I love and cherish you.
We shall not have acceptance and forgiveness without a
single interruption, as long we both shall live.
But yes, we will certainly make it.
It will be a beautiful adventure as we experience our own
limited resources and God's limitless power. He will teach
us how to challenge the difficulties of life and how to cherish
the joy it will be worth,
for we shall learn to do it with Him.
You are the other and best part of me.
I have loved you deeply for so long and it will take the rest
of my life to discover how much I do.
Thanks for showing me so authentically that love is a
10 letter word spelled 'COMMITMENT'
I'll love being married to You.
As faith can move mountain,
so love removes a wall.
This we have discovered and it is always true.
There is nothing we can't love each other for through commitment.
Sometimes the things in life are not serious,
yet they affect us, never the less,
we must keep going.
You have a little argument with your spouse,
neither of you feel like talking,
yet you must keep going.
There are times that make us want to cut off,
stick our heads in a hole
and make the world go away,
but we can't because we must keep going.
In times like this, and we all have them,
always remember that the blessing
is not that we must keep going.
The blessing is that WE CAN.
Friday, October 25, 2013
MY HEART TRULY CARES
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We met for a reason, one which is not totally clear to me yet.
But I know I have a clue.
We are both young,
We had and have things going for us in our individual lives.
We have our ambitions and future plans.
We both are working so hard to create the future we desire.
We've had and have our share of challenges; some are peculiar others are not.
We are so different from each other.
Our backgrounds, tribe, personality and sex.
But one thing is very common, we are united by Love.
This love is universal and we both agree to it.
But this love is personal also and we both are aware of it.
My heart goes all out for you.
I love you so much.
I respect your person.
I cherish every single thing that makes you who you are.
And you know what? I want you to be happy.
I mean every single word I say.
Even if your happiness requires me being outside the picture, its very fine as long as you are cool with it.
I think about so many things, but
A thought of you comes a lot often since we met.
I want to be there for you as a friend.
Let me be that guy whom you can call at any time and he answers,
Let me be that guy you can talk about anything and everything with and not feel any restraints,
Let me give you a hand to hold anytime you need one.
Let me give you a shoulder to lean on,
Let me give you an arm to hug when you need it.
My heart is open to you whenever you need to pour yours out.
Let me sit by your side when everyone else is gone or far away.
Let me be there smiling with you when that's all we could do.
Let me be that guy that you can always run back to when every other thing doesn't look like it.
I will sit with you by the sea side feeling the wave of the wind and the beauties of the waters.
I will write you a song even if my voice won't permit me to sing it to you.
I will stand by you no matter what happens.
Don't push me away because my heart is pure and sincere towards you.
Let you heart's desires be my drive.
Let me help you in any and every way I can.
Let me walk you down the street when you need to clear your head,
Let me be there for YOU.
I thank God every single day for making our paths cross.
You've thought me so many things even if you don't know it.
Working with you has given me a memory that can never be erased.
You are just an interesting person,
You have a good heart.
Well tutored and mannered.
Respectful, Loving, Driven, and of strong character. You are just one of a kind.
This could put a smile on your face, making you blush while reading it, but that's
not just my intentions for writing this.
Let it guard your heart and have you knowing that someone somewhere truly cares.
I need you to know this one last thing...
I AM YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN.
Written by Dan Okezue.
But I know I have a clue.
We are both young,
We had and have things going for us in our individual lives.
We have our ambitions and future plans.
We both are working so hard to create the future we desire.
We've had and have our share of challenges; some are peculiar others are not.
We are so different from each other.
Our backgrounds, tribe, personality and sex.
But one thing is very common, we are united by Love.
This love is universal and we both agree to it.
But this love is personal also and we both are aware of it.
My heart goes all out for you.
I love you so much.
I respect your person.
I cherish every single thing that makes you who you are.
And you know what? I want you to be happy.
I mean every single word I say.
Even if your happiness requires me being outside the picture, its very fine as long as you are cool with it.
I think about so many things, but
A thought of you comes a lot often since we met.
I want to be there for you as a friend.
Let me be that guy whom you can call at any time and he answers,
Let me be that guy you can talk about anything and everything with and not feel any restraints,
Let me give you a hand to hold anytime you need one.
Let me give you a shoulder to lean on,
Let me give you an arm to hug when you need it.
My heart is open to you whenever you need to pour yours out.
Let me sit by your side when everyone else is gone or far away.
Let me be there smiling with you when that's all we could do.
Let me be that guy that you can always run back to when every other thing doesn't look like it.
I will sit with you by the sea side feeling the wave of the wind and the beauties of the waters.
I will write you a song even if my voice won't permit me to sing it to you.
I will stand by you no matter what happens.
Don't push me away because my heart is pure and sincere towards you.
Let you heart's desires be my drive.
Let me help you in any and every way I can.
Let me walk you down the street when you need to clear your head,
Let me be there for YOU.
I thank God every single day for making our paths cross.
You've thought me so many things even if you don't know it.
Working with you has given me a memory that can never be erased.
You are just an interesting person,
You have a good heart.
Well tutored and mannered.
Respectful, Loving, Driven, and of strong character. You are just one of a kind.
This could put a smile on your face, making you blush while reading it, but that's
not just my intentions for writing this.
Let it guard your heart and have you knowing that someone somewhere truly cares.
I need you to know this one last thing...
I AM YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN.
Written by Dan Okezue.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
That Beautiful Moment: A Love Story (Part 2)
Walking further into the mall, I had arranged another little boy to write on the back of her left hand, ‘YOU’. She was so delighted at the love kids were showing her in the mall, but was a little surprised at why the boy who ran to her with such excitement would only write YOU on the back of her hand with a marker.
I had also arranged a shop to play me Banky W’s latest hit Yes/No while we walked to my primary destination in the mall. “Let’s do some jewelry window shopping,” I asked. We walked into the shop and I took her to the ring section and there was a banner hanging just in front of me with the inscription ‘marry’. I had to connect the dots, I asked her to look inside the flowers for a note which read ‘will’. She was still wondering what it meant when I removed my jacket and ‘ME’ was written on my white T-shirt. I asked her to connect them all.
The note in the flower read ‘WILL’ her hand read ‘YOU’, the inscription on the wall read ‘MARRY’ and my shirt read ‘ME’. I pulled a ring I’d paid for from the counter, went on my knees, and presented it to her.
With tears of joy she said YES in every language she understood. At this point, she couldn't wait to update her pm and dp on bbm. My heart was still pounding; I had been thinking, “What if she had said no?” Well, like the popular TV series “Played by Fame”, I got everyone she met on our way into the mall to come in to the shop. There was excitement and love in the air.
Few minutes later, our phones started ringing. Everyone wanted to congratulate us.
The realities of a marital relationship started to set in. I started thinking for two knowing that I was now engaged. We had to give her church at least a six months notice before our wedding. We started to plan for the big day; we just wanted everything to be perfect. We contacted vendors to confirm prices and then we drew up our budget.
Our attention gradually moved from caring about each other to caring about the success of our wedding day. We disagreed on some things and then I knew that marriage was a lot of work. We had to submit our relationship to a couple we both respected for counsel. We had arguments at times but we never fought to win arguments because we both knew that we had a golden relationship to uphold instead.
With the big day here, it was with quick response that I said “Yes, I do. Let’s get this over with, I needed to take my wife out of here.”
At this point, I thought to myself that there were several processes in a wedding ceremony that should just be scrapped. But we had to patiently wait till the end of the service.
Anyway, all anxieties were gone. That beautiful moment when it hits you that “we are married now”… More than the Shakespeare love stories, we knew that forever began today and we walked out of the church hall with that excitement. The reception had started before we reached the venue. We were to dance in last after the chairman was called up to his seat.
I was overwhelmed by the love shown us by our friends and family during our wedding. The “paparazzi” were in full force as there were ‘phonographers’ everywhere taking picture of my wife and I. DPs were flying and we had lots of well wishers. The reception went on as normal until the MC announced something very surprising to both of us. It was a surprise gift as a friend of ours walked in to perform his hit single ‘Obimo’ it was Isaac Geralds. With joy and much excitement, we stepped out to dance with him. Isaac was on an international music tour and he had flown in from the States to grace our wedding. That was thoughtful of Him and it was dear to our hearts.
We had to let our guest go and it was with hearts full of gratitude to God and every one present that I thanked them for taking out time to attend our wedding. I’d planned to sneak out through the back door after my vote of thanks. Whew! Honeymoon calls. My wife and I disappeared immediately I dropped the mic. It’s been fun all the way and I bless God daily for giving me such a lovely wife.
That Beautiful Moment: A Love Story
God, I know You planned this and I want to take a moment to say “Thank You”
one more time. As she proceeded in her beautiful gown (God bless the fashion designer), I felt my legs shaking right on the spot. “What’s this supposed to mean? It’s my wedding day so this should not be happening to me.” I quickly reached out for my uncle’s hand and asked him if he had a similar experience on his wedding day.
“Relax my boy,” he said. “You are just a little nervous; you’ll get over it pretty soon.
Just wait while she walks closer to you.” he added. It was like I regained my confidence the moment she stood in front of me.
“You may unveil your bride,” the preacher said. “Wow!” was the only word I found to say as I repeatedly muttered the word under my breath. The makeup artist, Dainty Affairs, did a good job too. Trust me when I say this, no single word the preacher said got into my head as I was busy admiring the amazing work God had done on the awesome young lady standing in front of me. Sounds flew over my head like overhead waves, so much so that I had to be tapped by an officiating minister to get back my consciousness. Just like the movies, I gradually flashed back to the very first day I met her.
“Her name is Angela Otunba,” Femi Nuga said, asking me if I was attracted to her.
“Hahaha…love at first sight is not really my thing you know, and perhaps I don’t know her yet.”
“There is always a first time,” Femi insisted as he called her attention.
“Angela, meet my friend Dimeji.” “And Dimeji – Angela”… And so the conversation began.
“So Dimeji what do you do?”
“Oh, I’m a photographer and a multimedia consultant,” I replied.
“Wow! That’s good,” she said with a big smile.
“What’s that smile? Or do you smile for a living?”
“The camera is actually my best friend,” she said.
That was all I needed to hear. My heart grinned as I immediately said “Wow! We could do something together then.” And we immediately exchanged Blackberry PINs and phone numbers. “You are very beautiful woman,” I said, before leaving the conversation.
“Thanks Dimeji” she replied.
Now, it was like I’d never seen a girl in my entire life as thoughts of her kept running through my head. Who says the beautiful ones are not yet born? Please rethink it because I just found one. We went on as just friends for a long while, even though we only communicated just a few times all the while. That beautiful moment when your mind is completely off everything and then you get a call that eventually starts something new…
“Dimeji, can you create a picture brief like the one I sent to your bbm?”
“Sure I can. That’s what I do, and know how to do best.” She wanted the pictures for a modelling and ushering job she wanted to bid for. “Ok,” she said, and asked how much a photo shoot session would cost her. I felt a little sceptical about telling her how much we offered such services for, as I didn’t want to scare her away. “Let’s talk about this later,” I said, while I asked to drop the call because I was in a class for a leadership training programme.
I thought about it for a while and came to the conclusion that I would do it for free. I called her back and told her to get ready for the shoot at my next call. It took about 3 weeks before I eventually did give her that call. I had an exhibition somewhere in Oregun so I asked her to come. I got a makeup artist to work on her face and we went into the studio. Coming out about an hour later, she asked me again how much her bill was.
“50k,” I replied, explaining to her how the package goes. Thank God she enjoyed our processes and procedure. “Hahahaha, Dimeji, this was the reason I wanted to know before showing up at all ooo. Now I don’t have that kind of money at all.” So I had to quickly tell her that the service I just gave her was for free, and then she caught her breath back. “Thanks so much, Dimeji.”
Now it didn’t look much like it, but I knew I didn't want it to end there; the relationship just had to move to the next level. She was busy loving the pictures, they were stunning to her and she wanted more, while I was busy falling in love with her.
“Dimeji I want to build a picture portfolio.”
“Sure,” I replied, “but it will cost you the norm.”
Never minding whatever it would cost her, she signed up for it. Like we do, I developed briefs for her and she liked them. It was going to take several shoots, several days, different concepts and several locations. She was absolutely ready, because she expressed happiness when she saw the brief.
With high expectations, she asked when we should start the shoot.
“Well, when I get the first alert,” I replied.
To further confirm her readiness, she made a deposit into my account within 24 hours and so we had to shoot. I assigned a creative stylist to her, got my makeup artist on board, and also got my fashion designer to make some costumes for our briefs. A few days later, everything was ready. We got on board and the process began. We traveled to several places in order to achieve some of our set briefs, and we got along with each other a lot more. We talked about mundane things; our pasts, present realities and our future prospects. She gradually moved from client to friend and then to a family friend (you know what I mean).
We started going out on a personal note after I’d asked her for a date about twice with no response. It became normal, like we men do sometimes; I started giving her pointers wanting to know if there was a parking space for me. With lots of nails pierced through my head at different times, I got few positive green lights. Now I had to make a move regardless of the positive and negative response margin.
I went back into my thinking room trying to find new and more creative ways to pop the 1 billion dollar question. I was so much in love with this girl, so I got all my friends to help me out. I had an idea and I needed to play it out…
To be continued…
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Top 12 Things a Gentleman Would Not do When he is toasting you... key word 'toasting'!
Top 12 Things a Gentleman Would Not do When he is toasting you... key word 'toasting'!
The fact that he's a gentleman does not mean he's perfect, don't date a guy cos he's a gentleman cos thats not a substitute for real character, but all the same, being a gentleman is an added bonus. Ladies, we've compromised on a few of these things before, I definitely have but it's time to say no! A couple of things on the list are excusable though', all in all, have a good laugh at all d boys who used to call themselves gentlemen!
Enjoy...
1.) Expect you to come over to his house ... especially when he knows he's going to b alone
2.) Complain that you don't call him... excuse me??? Who is toasting who? Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t call you, but don't complain if I don't!
3.) Call you frequently on Starcomms/Mtn/Celtel/Whatever free call and doesn’t call with his credit either... cheap skate
4.) 'Scope' other girls in front of you... gosh, if u marry him, he'd prob'ly cheat
5.) Give you two days or less notice for a date... err, just in case you didn’t know, I have things to do too!
6.) Act like, or expect you to act like you're going out when he hasn’t even asked, that includes among others frowning when other guys call you, or even asking you not to go out with other guys... believe me, guys do this all the time, and it’s so not right!
7.) Try to kiss you or make out with you when no commitment has been made... that's lack of respect!
8.) Get you nothing for your birthday/vals day... except you're jobless, broke or stupid that’s automatic disqualification! those are the 2 most important days in a girl’s life.... c'mon, even a N1,500 Victoria's Secret spray would do.
9.) Read your text messages ... show a lack of trust
10.) Use swear words... that's so 'ungentlemanly'!
11.) Be inattentive when you talk, or interrupt you while you are talking...shows he doesn’t regard you, prob'ly more interested in your physical appearance
12.) And please, what happened to the basics of opening the door for you, helping you with your seat, or even giving up his seat for you? .. These things may be old fashioned, but they go a long way
P.S. This list is not at all exhaustive, just my thoughts, Please feel free to add yours!
Enjoy...
1.) Expect you to come over to his house ... especially when he knows he's going to b alone
2.) Complain that you don't call him... excuse me??? Who is toasting who? Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t call you, but don't complain if I don't!
3.) Call you frequently on Starcomms/Mtn/Celtel/Whatever free call and doesn’t call with his credit either... cheap skate
4.) 'Scope' other girls in front of you... gosh, if u marry him, he'd prob'ly cheat
5.) Give you two days or less notice for a date... err, just in case you didn’t know, I have things to do too!
6.) Act like, or expect you to act like you're going out when he hasn’t even asked, that includes among others frowning when other guys call you, or even asking you not to go out with other guys... believe me, guys do this all the time, and it’s so not right!
7.) Try to kiss you or make out with you when no commitment has been made... that's lack of respect!
8.) Get you nothing for your birthday/vals day... except you're jobless, broke or stupid that’s automatic disqualification! those are the 2 most important days in a girl’s life.... c'mon, even a N1,500 Victoria's Secret spray would do.
9.) Read your text messages ... show a lack of trust
10.) Use swear words... that's so 'ungentlemanly'!
11.) Be inattentive when you talk, or interrupt you while you are talking...shows he doesn’t regard you, prob'ly more interested in your physical appearance
12.) And please, what happened to the basics of opening the door for you, helping you with your seat, or even giving up his seat for you? .. These things may be old fashioned, but they go a long way
P.S. This list is not at all exhaustive, just my thoughts, Please feel free to add yours!
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
THE WORLD IS MINE
The world is mine
just step back
dont even try to resist
do you know who's got my back?
The very land you walk upon
its my inheritance
you don't need to be upset
understand my stance
After creating me
He said now take over!
everywhere u step upon
this authority'll cover
You see I was born out of divinity
check my DNA
with the X and Y, you'll see the Z chromosome
yeah that stands for ZOE
The very life of God that trancends the ordinary
its eternal and world dominating, darkness discipating
yeah extraordinary...
I operate in a realm above the limits and confines of time,
when i speak, time stops and comforms to produce a result
The world is mine
the Maker gave it to me
Then he crowned me King,
so he could call himself King of Kings
One day I'll leave this throne to face his throne and then I'll see
One question He'll ask; 'How well did you run things?'
I dont need you to have a good impression about me,
I need God to have a good impression about me
But God has a good impression about me
He's so good at production that instead of producing in mass
each product of his is custom made,
custom made for life, purpose n destiny!
I am custom made,
a perfect blend of will, talents, gifts, purpose, skin colour, head shape, nose length, eye size, walk style, laughter pitch, voice tone, fun preference, tear drop size, finger length, height, sleep mode, stomach size, heart beat rate, fingerprint, DNA, handwriting, temperament ....
all a mysterious harmony in my person, just me
not to talk of the other people alive and those yet to come and those that have come and gone.
Not only is He too much,
I'm too much n whats more...
You're too much.
If you were the only one in the world he'll still have given what mattered the most to Him, his son, to have you back.
I mean what is Detowun that you are mindful ( His Mind is full of me) of the son of man that you visit him ( we spend time together every morning)
He made me only a little lower than Himself and crowned me with glory and honour and put me in charge of every other thing he created!
I'm jealous of me already
Thank you for creating me,
I know you were just showing off when you did!
Written by Roleola Adekoya
just step back
dont even try to resist
do you know who's got my back?
The very land you walk upon
its my inheritance
you don't need to be upset
understand my stance
After creating me
He said now take over!
everywhere u step upon
this authority'll cover
You see I was born out of divinity
check my DNA
with the X and Y, you'll see the Z chromosome
yeah that stands for ZOE
The very life of God that trancends the ordinary
its eternal and world dominating, darkness discipating
yeah extraordinary...
I operate in a realm above the limits and confines of time,
when i speak, time stops and comforms to produce a result
The world is mine
the Maker gave it to me
Then he crowned me King,
so he could call himself King of Kings
One day I'll leave this throne to face his throne and then I'll see
One question He'll ask; 'How well did you run things?'
I dont need you to have a good impression about me,
I need God to have a good impression about me
But God has a good impression about me
He's so good at production that instead of producing in mass
each product of his is custom made,
custom made for life, purpose n destiny!
I am custom made,
a perfect blend of will, talents, gifts, purpose, skin colour, head shape, nose length, eye size, walk style, laughter pitch, voice tone, fun preference, tear drop size, finger length, height, sleep mode, stomach size, heart beat rate, fingerprint, DNA, handwriting, temperament ....
all a mysterious harmony in my person, just me
not to talk of the other people alive and those yet to come and those that have come and gone.
Not only is He too much,
I'm too much n whats more...
You're too much.
If you were the only one in the world he'll still have given what mattered the most to Him, his son, to have you back.
I mean what is Detowun that you are mindful ( His Mind is full of me) of the son of man that you visit him ( we spend time together every morning)
He made me only a little lower than Himself and crowned me with glory and honour and put me in charge of every other thing he created!
I'm jealous of me already
Thank you for creating me,
I know you were just showing off when you did!
Written by Roleola Adekoya
Overcoming Barriers in Communication Part 1 of 2
Overcoming Barriers in Communication
Part 1 of 2
We all know that good communication is key for a successful marriage. But good communication doesn't always come easily. So, for the next two weeks let's examine how to overcome the barriers in communication. This week we will tackle the two very important issues: the silent spouse and valid anger.
The Silent Spouse:
So your spouse is the silent type. This can make communication very difficult. But are you spurring on this behavior? Let me give you some suggestions.
1. Stop saying "I wish you'd talk more." This is condemning and does not stimulate conversation.
2. Ask specific questions. "How was your day?" is much too general. "What did you have for lunch today?" is much better. Start with soliciting facts, later you can move to feelings.
3. Check your own output. If you are talking too much, your spouse will never talk more. Did you hear about the little boy who asked his father for help in writing a paper on "garden Clubs"? His father said: "Son, I don't know anything about Garden Clubs, go ask your mother." To which the little boy responded, "Dad, I don't want to know that much."
4. Replace criticisms with compliments. "John, I really appreciate you taking out the garbage." Is much better than "About time you took the garbage out, the flies were going to carry it out for you." Compliments encourage talking. Criticism closes the door.
Valid Anger:
Valid anger grows out of a concern for right, but much of our anger comes from a self-centered heart. Our spouse rubbed us the wrong way, or we didn't get what we wanted, so we got angry. This is distorted anger and reveals our own selfish attitude. So we sulk, and withdraw in silence, or we lash out with hurtful words.
A lady said to me recently, "My husband gets mad about the least little thing. I can't talk to him because I'm afraid I will say something that will trip his anger." On the other hand, he complained, "She never wants to spend any time with me." Hey guys Wake Up. If she is running from you, there is a reason.
Why not sit down and say, "I know I'm not a perfect husband, but I want to improve. Can you tell me what bothers you most about my behavior?" Then hold on to your chair and listen. When she says, "Your angry outburst really hurt me." Believe her, and ask for her advice on how you can manage your anger. Having lived with you, she has read the books and will have some good advice.
A husband said to me: "My wife is so fragile emotionally; I don't want to hurt her, so I keep all my feelings inside, but sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode." Do you think this husband is doing his wife a favor? I think he's destroying his marriage. The Bible says that we are to speak the truth in love. Both of these are important: speak the truth and do it in a loving way.
Remember love edifies. Love builds up. Love seeks to do what is best for the other person. Holding your frustrations, hurts, and pain inside is not for the good of your mate or your marriage. In fact, it is extremely unfair. Your spouse cannot respond to your pain if they are not aware of it.
You might say: "Darling I love you very much and I realize that I have wronged you by not sharing this with you sooner. I didn't want to hurt you, but that's no excuse. Please hear me; I'm not trying to put you down. I'm trying to let you know how I feel." Then tell the truth. Now your spouse has a chance to help. You might be surprised at their response.
Adapted from The Marriage You've Always Wanted by Dr. Gary Chapman.
Part 1 of 2
We all know that good communication is key for a successful marriage. But good communication doesn't always come easily. So, for the next two weeks let's examine how to overcome the barriers in communication. This week we will tackle the two very important issues: the silent spouse and valid anger.
The Silent Spouse:
So your spouse is the silent type. This can make communication very difficult. But are you spurring on this behavior? Let me give you some suggestions.
1. Stop saying "I wish you'd talk more." This is condemning and does not stimulate conversation.
2. Ask specific questions. "How was your day?" is much too general. "What did you have for lunch today?" is much better. Start with soliciting facts, later you can move to feelings.
3. Check your own output. If you are talking too much, your spouse will never talk more. Did you hear about the little boy who asked his father for help in writing a paper on "garden Clubs"? His father said: "Son, I don't know anything about Garden Clubs, go ask your mother." To which the little boy responded, "Dad, I don't want to know that much."
4. Replace criticisms with compliments. "John, I really appreciate you taking out the garbage." Is much better than "About time you took the garbage out, the flies were going to carry it out for you." Compliments encourage talking. Criticism closes the door.
Valid Anger:
Valid anger grows out of a concern for right, but much of our anger comes from a self-centered heart. Our spouse rubbed us the wrong way, or we didn't get what we wanted, so we got angry. This is distorted anger and reveals our own selfish attitude. So we sulk, and withdraw in silence, or we lash out with hurtful words.
A lady said to me recently, "My husband gets mad about the least little thing. I can't talk to him because I'm afraid I will say something that will trip his anger." On the other hand, he complained, "She never wants to spend any time with me." Hey guys Wake Up. If she is running from you, there is a reason.
Why not sit down and say, "I know I'm not a perfect husband, but I want to improve. Can you tell me what bothers you most about my behavior?" Then hold on to your chair and listen. When she says, "Your angry outburst really hurt me." Believe her, and ask for her advice on how you can manage your anger. Having lived with you, she has read the books and will have some good advice.
A husband said to me: "My wife is so fragile emotionally; I don't want to hurt her, so I keep all my feelings inside, but sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode." Do you think this husband is doing his wife a favor? I think he's destroying his marriage. The Bible says that we are to speak the truth in love. Both of these are important: speak the truth and do it in a loving way.
Remember love edifies. Love builds up. Love seeks to do what is best for the other person. Holding your frustrations, hurts, and pain inside is not for the good of your mate or your marriage. In fact, it is extremely unfair. Your spouse cannot respond to your pain if they are not aware of it.
You might say: "Darling I love you very much and I realize that I have wronged you by not sharing this with you sooner. I didn't want to hurt you, but that's no excuse. Please hear me; I'm not trying to put you down. I'm trying to let you know how I feel." Then tell the truth. Now your spouse has a chance to help. You might be surprised at their response.
Adapted from The Marriage You've Always Wanted by Dr. Gary Chapman.
ARE THE LADIES LOST?
ARE THE LADIES LOST?
Ever heard of “slumber party”?
Yes, the all-night get together party that ladies have. Let me tell you the other things that go on in the party. There is a session in which the ladies bare their heart out concerning hearty issues.
The story of a friend kept me thinking, wondering and digging.
She liked, really liked a particular guy, after a few months of playing the waiting game, she decided to let her heart out. Hmm… courageous I must say. Turns out the guy doesn’t feel the same way about her. And the guy took her for his testosterone trip for a couple of years before he met the girl that appealed to his eyes. And his excuse was: “I didn’t ask you out, you did. Be grateful”. Anger boiled in me so much I had to keep mute. What a jerk! Now, this became a question for the ladies, should a girl ask a guy out? But we must understand whoever did the asking does not guarantee the sanity of the guy.
My opinion:
Basically, you can test the maturity of a person by his actions in a situation.
I’d rather a girl not ask a guy out, though I’ve seen some ladies do that and they ‘ve made a success out of the relationship but does it make it ‘doable’? NO!, putting the strong African culture background aside of course. Every problem is a wisdom problem. I see it as a two-way thing, you can imply or let the feelings die (it is not impossible)*winks.
“It is not good for a man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him”. Note the word “helper” meaning the man is the head and he has a help mate. And ladies, you are suitable.
“He who finds a wife has found a good thing and has received favor from the Lord.”
Guess you are wondering what I’m getting at..
So ladies as a helper what do you do? You help the guy find you. It is high time the ladies stopped being passive about their lives just because they are thought of as ‘weaker vessel’ or ‘kitchen use’ or ‘bed attendee”. I have learned that some guys are shy, so they may not speak up, even the ones that are not need help too. Less I divert too far, ‘how do you help?’
It is many, and they can’t all be adapted in a situation. Here are a few I’ve learned from men:
· Pay extra attention to the guy and let him know it.
· Ask him to lunch and pay… there’s no rule against that. Lunch please not dinner.
· Stroke his ego. It doesn’t take a pound of flesh or dignity from you. Know the extremes. Etc..
My point is “help” him find you. You are not lost.
Songs of Solomon 2:7- I charge you daughters of Jerusalem by the Gazelles and by the does of the field, do not awaken love until it so desires… I wonder why the charge was to the daughters and not the men. I’d have loved to go on and on about why and how you should passively ask him out, but I know you’ve gotten the gist already.
Disclaimer: pay attention to the limit…. If he is not interested, another man will be…life goes on.
Ciao.
Written by: Dami Ige
Written by: Dami Ige
A Perfect Story of Romance
HOW I MET HER
Ok before you think what sort of dude puts up a picture of a woman on a 43" plasma screen," like I just did, let me explain.
Adedayo Owoade's entrance into my life can pass as one of those fairytale stories...but more apt, I consider it as a story God had written and just allowed it unfold in our lives...so this is my side of the story.
8.10pm, January 8, 2012, Kayode Taiwo Street, Magodo GRA. I reversed my car to park next to my friend Dipo Sonaike and the tall, dark woman beside him. In my jovial mood, I walked to them and prostrated half-way to greet the woman he had told me was his HOD in church. "Eka le ma," I said as I 'formed' prostrating. Little did I know she had jokes too! Before you could say 'Adeleketemidayo', this woman goes fully on her two knees to say 'Eka le sir!" I didn't see that coming so I quickly stood up and begged her to stand up too...lol! No spoil my ministry abeg!
But I was impressed. She got me with her attitude - not taking yourself too serious.
Let me back up a bit so you understand better. A couple of months before meeting her, I had prayed to God on wife matters and He gave me what I considered a funny answer back then: "Go and do my work." I prayed three times and got the same answer. In my mind I was like, what does woman have to do with work (work in this case being Present Fathers Ministry). Well, I got the message and went about doing the work. December 2011 was upon us and we were planning a prayer meeting for January 2012 when tragedy struck my family. My sister's husband died. It was a trying period for us. As a way of comforting her, I put my house under lock and moved in with them in Magodo - until things stabilized a bit.
Dipo Sonaike then comes to our house to extend his condolences to my sister on the afternoon of January 8. This is where things took a turn in Dayo's direction. He showed me her picture and gave a brief profile on her and says "Egbon, you guys will fit each other gan! I wan make you meet am." I liked what I saw in the picture and thought meeting her won't be bad...well, looking back, it was a smart thing to do.
So we met that evening and I also invited her for the prayer meeting we were organizing...that gesture confirmed one of her request to God on the kind of man she wanted - that he be a man of prayer....before we sound all spirikoko, we exchanged PINS and so began our journey together.
I bless God for the evening of January 8th, 2012. There I was being a helper to my sister's family not knowing all was part of a bigger picture of Him sending my helper my way. I had no business in Magodo if not for my sister's family. Come March 23rd, 2013, I'll reap the fruit of obedience.
I'm sure you will get a better picture from reading her version of how we met.
HOW I MET HIM
Jan 8 2012, 8.10pm prescisely on Kayode Taiwo, Magodo Estate was when I laid eyes on him. It was a sunday evening, I had just made my hair and was walking my dear friend and "son" Dipo to the gate.
Let me back track a bit. Earlier in the day, Dipo had come to pay me a visit and basically hang out with me whilst I made my hair. After like an hour he told me he wanted to go visit a "good friend" of his who was a couple of streets away staying with his sister who had just lost her husband and then he decided to show me a picture of the friend. A good looking guy I said and that was it. So he went to visit and came back.
On our way out of the house, he kept telling me I want you to meet my friend and I was wondering, which one be this again o as he made me walk to the friend's house. on getting there, the friend wasn't home. Oya let's go o! He sha kept insisting and called the friend who said he will meet us on the way.
So we walked out of the street and got on Kayode Taiwo we realized that the friend had apparently drove past us. Anyway, he turned back, parked his car, got down from the car, and said, "Ekale ma". Me wey i get kolo, I just knelt down and said, "Ekale sir". After all, two can play at that game, right?
So that was how I met him and like they say, the rest is History! LOL!
Okay, for those who are itching for more gist, the story continues.
There we were, two strangers, me I stood aside and allowed Dipo to introduce us. Of course, in his very 'proud' fashion, Aladekoba Adeleke Segun is my name. And then he mentioned he had a ministry, Present Fathers (PF), and was telling me about it and how they were organizing a prayer meeting for the 21st of the month. Nice one, I thought to myself. Anyway, whilst we were talking, my brother passes by and as he was a new father in town, I called him over to meet my new friend, Leke and told Leke to invite him for the prayer meeting. Afterwards, we said our goodbyes, but for me, somewhere in me, he had registered!
So the week began, Occupy Nigeria week and I was home one day when Dipo pinged me, Leke asked for your PIN. I replied, why o? Abeg o, I no want any drama. LOL! Anyway, the excuse, he wants to invite your brother for the PF meeting. Indeed, I thought to myself. Anyway, you can give him, I replied. So he added me and didn't chat with me all through that week till the following tuesday when we resumed at work from the strike.
Well, that was where the communication began and here we are...on the journey to join ourselves as one.
PUTTING A RING ON IT
The proposal wasn't just a matter of 'when' but 'how.' Being the creative head I am, I had loads of options in my head - some simple, others what you'd call crazy (for instance, deploying a banner on 3rd mainland bridge during the traffic rush hour which said 'Marry Me Adedayo'). It became a clash of ideas so I did what I usually do in times like this...I let everything go and let the idea come to me.
I started proposing way back June. I dropped her off at home one Saturday evening and got down from the car to open the door for her. I took her hand, took of the ring I was wearing, went on my knees, put the ring on her finger and said these words "...this is not a proposal...call it a pre-proposal but the next time I go down on my knees...I want to know that you will honour me by saying 'Yes'" Sh nodded in affirmation and whispered 'Yes.' All I wanted to see was the look on her face and it was beautiful - she didn't see it coming!
Then again in September - 26th to be precise - when I sent her flowers at work. We had an argument the day before so I used it as a means of showing how much I cared for her. Then in that moment, it hit me - My Babeem would become God's perfection of a woman for me (my number 7 woman) so I sent her 6 stems of flowers with a note that said "...there are 6 stems for a reason."
The 7th stem would have something to do with the ring. Furthermore, the ring has to tie into what we believed and liked. I found just the perfect one - a white gold ring with three clusters of crystals that represented 'Dee and I with God in the center - meaning the more we leaned on God, the closer we become and put together, our true beauty comes out for all to see.
So when I bought the ring at 3.45pm on the 11th of December and asked for a case, I was shocked when they brought out a rose shaped case. Boom! it was settled...I had made the right choice.
At the root of things, I'm a simple man so on the 15th of December, 2012, at exactly 7.15pm, I opted for the simple proposal (she says it best in 'Opening the 7th Stem').
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