Top 12 Things a Gentleman Would Not do When he is toasting you... key word 'toasting'!

Top 12 Things a Gentleman Would Not do When he is toasting you... key word 'toasting'!

The fact that he's a gentleman does not mean he's perfect, don't date a guy cos he's a gentleman cos thats not a substitute for real character, but all the same, being a gentleman is an added bonus. Ladies, we've compromised on a few of these things before, I definitely have but it's time to say no! A couple of things on the list are excusable though', all in all, have a good laugh at all d boys who used to call themselves gentlemen!
Enjoy...

1.) Expect you to come over to his house ... especially when he knows he's going to b alone

2.) Complain that you don't call him... excuse me??? Who is toasting who? Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t call you, but don't complain if I don't!

3.) Call you frequently on Starcomms/Mtn/Celtel/Whatever free call and doesn’t call with his credit either... cheap skate

4.) 'Scope' other girls in front of you... gosh, if u marry him, he'd prob'ly cheat

5.) Give you two days or less notice for a date... err, just in case you didn’t know, I have things to do too!

6.) Act like, or expect you to act like you're going out when he hasn’t even asked, that includes among others frowning when other guys call you, or even asking you not to go out with other guys... believe me, guys do this all the time, and it’s so not right!

7.) Try to kiss you or make out with you when no commitment has been made... that's lack of respect!

8.) Get you nothing for your birthday/vals day... except you're jobless, broke or stupid that’s automatic disqualification! those are the 2 most important days in a girl’s life.... c'mon, even a N1,500 Victoria's Secret spray would do.

9.) Read your text messages ... show a lack of trust

10.) Use swear words... that's so 'ungentlemanly'!

11.) Be inattentive when you talk, or interrupt you while you are talking...shows he doesn’t regard you, prob'ly more interested in your physical appearance

12.) And please, what happened to the basics of opening the door for you, helping you with your seat, or even giving up his seat for you? .. These things may be old fashioned, but they go a long way

P.S. This list is not at all exhaustive, just my thoughts, Please feel free to add yours!

by Oreoluwa MrsDiva Adekoya

THE WORLD IS MINE

The world is mine
just step back
dont even try to resist
do you know who's got my back?

The very land you walk upon
its my inheritance
you don't need to be upset
understand my stance

After creating me
He said now take over!
everywhere u step upon
this authority'll cover

You see I was born out of divinity
check my DNA
with the X and Y, you'll see the Z chromosome
yeah that stands for ZOE
The very life of God that trancends the ordinary
its eternal and world dominating, darkness discipating
yeah extraordinary...

I operate in a realm above the limits and confines of time,
when i speak, time stops and comforms to produce a result

The world is mine
the Maker gave it to me
Then he crowned me King,
so he could call himself King of Kings

One day I'll leave this throne to face his throne and then I'll see
One question He'll ask; 'How well did you run things?'


I dont need you to have a good impression about me,
I need God to have a good impression about me
But God has a good impression about me

He's so good at production that instead of producing in mass
each product of his is custom made,
custom made for life, purpose n destiny!

I am custom made,

a perfect blend of will, talents, gifts, purpose, skin colour, head shape, nose length, eye size, walk style, laughter pitch, voice tone, fun preference, tear drop size, finger length, height, sleep mode, stomach size, heart beat rate, fingerprint, DNA, handwriting, temperament ....
all a mysterious harmony in my person, just me
not to talk of the other people alive and those yet to come and those that have come and gone.
Not only is He too much,
I'm too much n whats more...
You're too much.

If you were the only one in the world he'll still have given what mattered the most to Him, his son, to have you back.

I mean what is Detowun that you are mindful ( His Mind is full of me) of the son of man that you visit him ( we spend time together every morning)
He made me only a little lower than Himself and crowned me with glory and honour and put me in charge of every other thing he created!

I'm jealous of me already

Thank you for creating me,
I know you were just showing off when you did!

Written by Roleola Adekoya

Overcoming Barriers in Communication Part 1 of 2

Overcoming Barriers in Communication
Part 1 of 2

We all know that good communication is key for a successful marriage. But good communication doesn't always come easily. So, for the next two weeks let's examine how to overcome the barriers in communication. This week we will tackle the two very important issues: the silent spouse and valid anger.
The Silent Spouse:
So your spouse is the silent type. This can make communication very difficult. But are you spurring on this behavior? Let me give you some suggestions. 

1. Stop saying "I wish you'd talk more."  This is condemning and does not stimulate conversation.

2.  Ask specific questions.  "How was your day?" is much too general.  "What did you have for lunch today?" is much better.  Start with soliciting facts, later you can move to feelings.

3.  Check your own output.  If you are talking too much, your spouse will never talk more.  Did you hear about the little boy who asked his father for help in writing a paper on "garden Clubs"? His father said: "Son, I don't know anything about Garden Clubs, go ask your mother."  To which the little boy responded, "Dad, I don't want to know that much." 

4.  Replace criticisms with compliments.  "John, I really appreciate you taking out the garbage."  Is much better than "About time you took the garbage out, the flies were going to carry it out for you."  Compliments encourage talking.  Criticism closes the door.


Valid Anger:
          
Valid anger grows out of a concern for right, but much of our anger comes from a self-centered heart.  Our spouse rubbed us the wrong way, or we didn't get what we wanted, so we got angry.  This is distorted anger and reveals our own selfish attitude.  So we sulk, and withdraw in silence, or we lash out with hurtful words.  
A lady said to me recently, "My husband gets mad about the least little thing.  I can't talk to him because I'm afraid I will say something that will trip his anger."   On the other hand, he complained, "She never wants to spend any time with me."  Hey guys Wake Up.  If she is running from you, there is a reason. 
Why not sit down and say, "I know I'm not a perfect husband, but I want to improve.  Can you tell me what bothers you most about my behavior?"  Then hold on to your chair and listen.  When she says, "Your angry outburst really hurt me."  Believe her, and ask for her advice on how you can manage your anger.  Having lived with you, she has read the books and will have some good advice. 
A husband said to me: "My wife is so fragile emotionally; I don't want to hurt her, so I keep all my feelings inside, but sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode."  Do you think this husband is doing his wife a favor?  I think he's destroying his marriage.  The Bible says that we are to speak the truth in love.  Both of these are important: speak the truth and do it in a loving way.
Remember love edifies.  Love builds up.  Love seeks to do what is best for the other person.  Holding your frustrations, hurts, and pain inside is not for the good of your mate or your marriage.  In fact, it is extremely unfair.  Your spouse cannot respond to your pain if they are not aware of it. 
You might say: "Darling I love you very much and I realize that I have wronged you by not sharing this with you sooner.  I didn't want to hurt you, but that's no excuse.  Please hear me; I'm not trying to put you down.  I'm trying to let you know how I feel."  Then tell the truth.  Now your spouse has a chance to help.  You might be surprised at their response.

Adapted from The Marriage You've Always Wanted by Dr. Gary Chapman.

ARE THE LADIES LOST?

ARE THE LADIES LOST?

Ever heard of “slumber party”?

Yes, the all-night get together party that ladies have. Let me tell you the other things that go on in the party. There is a session in which the ladies bare their heart out concerning hearty issues.

The story of a friend kept me thinking, wondering and digging.

            She liked, really liked a particular guy, after a few months of playing the waiting game, she decided to let her heart out. Hmm… courageous I must say. Turns out the guy doesn’t feel the same way about her. And the guy took her for his testosterone trip for a couple of years before he met the girl that appealed to his eyes. And his excuse was: “I didn’t ask you out, you did. Be grateful”. Anger boiled in me so much I had to keep mute. What a jerk! Now, this became a question for the ladies, should a girl ask a guy out? But we must understand whoever did the asking does not guarantee the sanity of the guy.

My opinion:

Basically, you can test the maturity of a person by his actions in a situation.

I’d rather a girl not ask a guy out, though I’ve seen some ladies do that and they ‘ve made a success out of the relationship but does it make it ‘doable’? NO!, putting the strong African culture background aside of course. Every problem is a wisdom problem. I see it as a two-way thing, you can imply or let the feelings die (it is not impossible)*winks.

“It is not good for a man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him”. Note the word “helper” meaning the man is the head and he has a help mate. And ladies, you are suitable.

“He who finds a wife has found a good thing and has received favor from the Lord.”

Guess you are wondering what I’m getting at..

So ladies as a helper what do you do? You help the guy find you. It is high time the ladies stopped being passive about their lives just because they are thought of as ‘weaker vessel’ or ‘kitchen use’ or ‘bed attendee”. I have learned that some guys are shy, so they may not speak up, even the ones that are not need help too. Less I divert too far, ‘how do you help?’

It is many, and they can’t all be adapted in a situation. Here are a few I’ve learned from men:

·         Pay extra attention to the guy and let him know it.

·         Ask him to lunch and pay… there’s no rule against that. Lunch please not dinner.

·         Stroke his ego. It doesn’t take a pound of flesh or dignity from you. Know the extremes. Etc..

My point is “help” him find you. You are not lost.

Songs of Solomon 2:7­- I charge you daughters of Jerusalem by the Gazelles and by the does of the field, do not awaken love until it so desires… I wonder why the charge was to the daughters and not the men. I’d have loved to go on and on about why and how you should passively ask him out, but I know you’ve gotten the gist already.

Disclaimer: pay attention to the limit…. If he is not interested, another man will be…life goes on.

Ciao.
Written by: Dami Ige

www.mediagenius.com.ng

A Perfect Story of Romance

HOW I MET HER

Ok before you think what sort of dude puts up a picture of a woman on a 43" plasma screen," like I just did, let me explain.

Adedayo Owoade's entrance into my life can pass as one of those fairytale stories...but more apt, I consider it as a story God had written and just allowed it unfold in our lives...so this is my side of the story.

8.10pm, January 8, 2012, Kayode Taiwo Street, Magodo GRA. I reversed my car to park next to my friend Dipo Sonaike and the tall, dark woman beside him. In my jovial mood, I walked to them and prostrated half-way to greet the woman he had told me was his HOD in church. "Eka le ma," I said as I 'formed' prostrating. Little did I know she had jokes too! Before you could say 'Adeleketemidayo', this woman goes fully on her two knees to say 'Eka le sir!" I didn't see that coming so I quickly stood up and begged her to stand up too...lol! No spoil my ministry abeg!

But I was impressed. She got me with her attitude - not taking yourself too serious.

Let me back up a bit so you understand better. A couple of months before meeting her, I had prayed to God on wife matters and He gave me what I considered a funny answer back then: "Go and do my work." I prayed three times and got the same answer. In my mind I was like, what does woman have to do with work (work in this case being Present Fathers Ministry). Well, I got the message and went about doing the work. December 2011 was upon us and we were planning a prayer meeting for January 2012 when tragedy struck my family. My sister's husband died. It was a trying period for us. As a way of comforting her, I put my house under lock and moved in with them in Magodo - until things stabilized a bit.

Dipo Sonaike then comes to our house to extend his condolences to my sister on the afternoon of January 8. This is where things took a turn in Dayo's direction. He showed me her picture and gave a brief profile on her and says "Egbon, you guys will fit each other gan! I wan make you meet am." I liked what I saw in the picture and thought meeting her won't be bad...well, looking back, it was a smart thing to do.

So we met that evening and I also invited her for the prayer meeting we were organizing...that gesture confirmed one of her request to God on the kind of man she wanted - that he be a man of prayer....before we sound all spirikoko, we exchanged PINS and so began our journey together.

I bless God for the evening of January 8th, 2012. There I was being a helper to my sister's family not knowing all was part of a bigger picture of Him sending my helper my way. I had no business in Magodo if not for my sister's family. Come March 23rd, 2013, I'll reap the fruit of obedience.

I'm sure you will get a better picture from reading her version of how we met.

HOW I MET HIM

Jan 8 2012, 8.10pm prescisely on Kayode Taiwo, Magodo Estate was when I laid eyes on him. It was a sunday evening, I had just made my hair and was walking my dear friend and "son" Dipo to the gate.

Let me back track a bit. Earlier in the day, Dipo had come to pay me a visit and basically hang out with me whilst I made my hair. After like an hour he told me he wanted to go visit a "good friend" of his who was a couple of streets away staying with his sister who had just lost her husband and then he decided to show me a picture of the friend. A good looking guy I said and that was it. So he went to visit and came back.

On our way out of the house, he kept telling me I want you to meet my friend and I was wondering, which one be this again o as he made me walk to the friend's house. on getting there, the friend wasn't home. Oya let's go o! He sha kept insisting and called the friend who said he will meet us on the way.

So we walked out of the street and got on Kayode Taiwo we realized that the friend had apparently drove past us. Anyway, he turned back, parked his car, got down from the car, and said, "Ekale ma". Me wey i get kolo, I just knelt down and said, "Ekale sir". After all, two can play at that game, right?

So that was how I met him and like they say, the rest is History! LOL!

Okay, for those who are itching for more gist, the story continues.

There we were, two strangers, me I stood aside and allowed Dipo to introduce us. Of course, in his very 'proud' fashion, Aladekoba Adeleke Segun is my name. And then he mentioned he had a ministry, Present Fathers (PF), and was telling me about it and how they were organizing a prayer meeting for the 21st of the month. Nice one, I thought to myself. Anyway, whilst we were talking, my brother passes by and as he was a new father in town, I called him over to meet my new friend, Leke and told Leke to invite him for the prayer meeting. Afterwards, we said our goodbyes, but for me, somewhere in me, he had registered!

So the week began, Occupy Nigeria week and I was home one day when Dipo pinged me, Leke asked for your PIN. I replied, why o? Abeg o, I no want any drama. LOL! Anyway, the excuse, he wants to invite your brother for the PF meeting. Indeed, I thought to myself. Anyway, you can give him, I replied. So he added me and didn't chat with me all through that week till the following tuesday when we resumed at work from the strike.

Well, that was where the communication began and here we are...on the journey to join ourselves as one.

PUTTING A RING ON IT

The proposal wasn't just a matter of 'when' but 'how.' Being the creative head I am, I had loads of options in my head - some simple, others what you'd call crazy (for instance, deploying a banner on 3rd mainland bridge during the traffic rush hour which said 'Marry Me Adedayo'). It became a clash of ideas so I did what I usually do in times like this...I let everything go and let the idea come to me.

I started proposing way back June. I dropped her off at home one Saturday evening and got down from the car to open the door for her. I took her hand, took of the ring I was wearing, went on my knees, put the ring on her finger and said these words "...this is not a proposal...call it a pre-proposal but the next time I go down on my knees...I want to know that you will honour me by saying 'Yes'" Sh nodded in affirmation and whispered 'Yes.' All I wanted to see was the look on her face and it was beautiful - she didn't see it coming!

Then again in September - 26th to be precise - when I sent her flowers at work. We had an argument the day before so I used it as a means of showing how much I cared for her. Then in that moment, it hit me - My Babeem would become God's perfection of a woman for me (my number 7 woman) so I sent her 6 stems of flowers with a note that said "...there are 6 stems for a reason."

The 7th stem would have something to do with the ring. Furthermore, the ring has to tie into what we believed and liked. I found just the perfect one - a white gold ring with three clusters of crystals that represented 'Dee and I with God in the center - meaning the more we leaned on God, the closer we become and put together, our true beauty comes out for all to see.

So when I bought the ring at 3.45pm on the 11th of December and asked for a case, I was shocked when they brought out a rose shaped case. Boom! it was settled...I had made the right choice.

At the root of things, I'm a simple man so on the 15th of December, 2012, at exactly 7.15pm, I opted for the simple proposal (she says it best in 'Opening the 7th Stem').